ats
tgh
So can we talk about these new Bayer commercials?
Have you seen them?
Basically, it shows regular people doing ordinary things when they’re greeted by the most morbid of notes explaining they’re going to have a heart attack tonight or tomorrow. One is of a woman having lunch with her woman friends when the receipt comes. On the bottom, instead of applying that BOGO coupon code, the waitress has kindly written out some omen that this woman is to have a heart attack today. I definitely wouldn’t be tipping that bitch, and that freaky shit would be written in my Yelp review. Just sayin’.
In another, a man walks to his car to find the ominous note tucked under his wiper blades. You’ll have a heart attack tomorrow, it reads. Instead of wondering what kind of sadistic freak would be leaving creepy natural-causes death notes on his Jetta, this dude just heads on home and picks up the convenient bottle of Bayer sitting on the counter next to the flour and takes a handful while smiling. I’m assuming since the Bayer has a regular place on the counter that these freaky notes probably happen frequently. “Awh, crap, babe, I got another heart attack note! Better take the Bayer!”
Maple Caramel Bacon Crack
Ingredients
1 lb. bacon
1 pkg Pillsbury crescent rolls
½ cup maple syrup
¾ cup brown sugar
Instructions
bwh
Have you seen them?
Basically, it shows regular people doing ordinary things when they’re greeted by the most morbid of notes explaining they’re going to have a heart attack tonight or tomorrow. One is of a woman having lunch with her woman friends when the receipt comes. On the bottom, instead of applying that BOGO coupon code, the waitress has kindly written out some omen that this woman is to have a heart attack today. I definitely wouldn’t be tipping that bitch, and that freaky shit would be written in my Yelp review. Just sayin’.
In another, a man walks to his car to find the ominous note tucked under his wiper blades. You’ll have a heart attack tomorrow, it reads. Instead of wondering what kind of sadistic freak would be leaving creepy natural-causes death notes on his Jetta, this dude just heads on home and picks up the convenient bottle of Bayer sitting on the counter next to the flour and takes a handful while smiling. I’m assuming since the Bayer has a regular place on the counter that these freaky notes probably happen frequently. “Awh, crap, babe, I got another heart attack note! Better take the Bayer!”
Maple Caramel Bacon Crack
Ingredients
1 lb. bacon
1 pkg Pillsbury crescent rolls
½ cup maple syrup
¾ cup brown sugar
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Line a rimmed baking sheet (like a 15x10) with parchment paper and lightly grease the parchment with cooking spray. NOTE: this recipe was originally made with foil. Since people have had issues with the foil, I recommend using parchment paper. Unroll the crescent rolls into one single plane of dough and pinch any perforations together to seal. Stretch the dough out to fit the size of the pan with your hands so it's even. Prick the dough with a fork all over. Set aside.
- Meanwhile, cook your bacon. I like cooking mine in a skillet, but you can bake it - whichever you prefer. Cook it until it's technically safe enough to eat and just about done, but still lighter in color and not quite crispy. You don't want it fully cooked and crispy as it will continue to cook in the oven. I pulled mine out of the pan right when they were a medium-pink color. Drain the bacon on a paper towel-lined plate.